It has been five months already since we counted down to new year. So far, this year has been a rollercoaster to me. It has surprised me with a lot of things I have never expected. With all the twist, and the bittersweet journey this life has taken me,
these are the lessons that I have learned so far this year:
• I have learnt that jealousy will not solve the problem. It will worsen pretty much everything. Jealousy will take you to a much darker place than you already are. You will begin to compare yourself to the others and make you lose your focus. You will get too caught up trying to impress someone and end up forgetting who you really are, and little do you know you have lost yourself in the process. You will always try to seek validation in others, and your happiness relies on the compliments you get, the likes you get on instagram or the followers you have. Dealing with this type of feeling has been a hell for me as jealousy is my hamartia. I hate myself when I look back to those days in the past when I was so busy trying to be someone I was not, trying to impress people merely because I wanted to fit in. I was not feeling happy at all because the only question I asked myself was “am i enough?”. If I had to give advice to my 16-year-old self, I would tell her not to worry about yourself because you are more than enough.
Now I have grown up, I have learnt from the past, from my mistakes, and I determine to make myself much better than I was.
• I have learnt that we cannot force something to happen no matter how hard we have tried. You cannot force someone to give you the same amount of attention as you do to him/her. You cannot force someone to care about you. There are some things that beyond our control.
• I have learnt that sometimes it is needed for you to cut off connections from toxic people.
• I have learnt that connection is hard to find; it is rare. And you cannot force a connection, for it should come naturally.
• I have learnt that I will not waste my time and energy for something that is not worth fighting for.
• I have learnt that honesty is the best virtue. Therefore, I value honesty the most and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.
•I have learnt that time waits for no one, and we will get left behind. So I try to seize every moment before it passes by. Everything has their own timing. Sometimes we tend to force things to happen as soon as possible, we tend to do whatever it takes to make it happen. But it will not happen unless it is time.
• I have learnt that sometimes we measure success by how fast we get something that we want and forget the fact that it is far beyond that. Success is not measured by how fast you get something you’ve always wanted, because success, to me, is how you persevere, how you learn from the process, how you learn from the mistakes.
•I have learnt to say YES to every opportunity. Well…..not every opportunity but yeah lol. One single YES could lead you to endless opportunities ahead. So I always remind myself to always take the opportunity
• I have learnt that I have full control of what is going to happen next. Like what I said, some things are uncontrollable but some things are controllable.
• I have learnt that some people come to my life to either teach me lessons or to be part of something amazing which will shape my life, change the way I see things, and bring much more colours to my monochrome life haha!
• I have learnt that some people are way richer than we thought they were although they might be perceived as the disadvantaged people. They may have lost pretty much everything but they are surrounded by family who love them, friends who are all ears.
•I have learnt that nothing in this world could ever prepare you to lose your loved ones. The pain is unbearable and at times you feel like giving up because it is just too much to bear.
•I lost my dad in the mid of this year, June 25 to be exact and I didn’t get to tell him how much he meant to me. I was too busy with my own world and couldn’t care less about the things going on around me. This universe has sent me clues but I ignored it. I failed to see it. Through this awful experience, I have learnt to be honest about my feelings and everything, to be fully present and to show and say how much someone means to me. Because we never know when we will see them again. Being brutally honest doesn’t kill you, it does you no harm.
•I have learnt that it is okay to cry and to wish that things would go back like it used to be, but I have also learnt that we cannot dwell in the past for too long because it’s just the same as blocking ourselves from being happy.
•Throughout this experience, I have learnt and grown to be much better person than I was before.
And this year…..
I have learnt
to let go.