she is different

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I am a woman not a girl you meet at a crossroad
I am more than a face to see
or a voice to calm your stormy night
you’ll long to hear my voice
cos it is a lullaby to you
and you’ll find me in your dream
but you think it’s a nightmare

I am more than a body to touch
you’ll burn your hand seconds you grab my waist
I am more than lips to kiss
you’ll be poisoned seconds your lips touch mine

I am more than one-night things
cos someone like me is not made
to last just one night
I am more than a hand to hold
cos the warmth of my hand won’t
warm your coldest heart
I grow thorns at the back of my hands
you will bleed trying to hold me

I am a woman of worth
I am made to be a home you miss
not a hostel you stay
I am made to be the water you need
not a whiskey you seek
I am made to be your sweetest regret and painful truth
cos tomorrow you will wake up
thinking of the chance you lost
to have someone
whose love as vast as the ocean
and you will long for me
every time you lay your eyes upon other’s
and there you’ll realize
that i am not like any other

 

//not one of your girls—ecp

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04.30:
at dawn it was
mom woke me up
saw him there
lying peacefully
stayed still
i held his hand
no tears at all
closed my eyes
hoping he’d just
pass out for a moment

05.54:
sat oustide the ER
the doctor came up to me
he’s gone,she said
the world within me
crumbled down
no strength to walk
let alone to see his face

06.20:
i didnt wanna go inside
too unbearable i thought
so i sat outside alone
ended up hurting myself
go ask the hospital walls
of how i got these bruises
i just wanted to wake up
from this nightmare

07.10
there they came
best friends at all times
sisters i never knew i needed

07.30
no flashback
no regrets
lies i kept telling to myself
to ease the pain
feel the regret
filling up my chest
painful it was
no words came out
of my mouth
did he know how much
i love him
did he know how much
i care

13.40
it’s all real
i saw him in there
in a coffin.
i saw him lying there
looked so peaceful
i saw him there
in a suit
i wish he would wear
on my wedding day.

23.59:
there
still i hope
when i wake up
it all will be
a dream.

//
when a daughter lost her father.
It’s been a month already, Pa. I miss you like crazy

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you tell me to quiet down cause
my opinions make me less beautiful
but i was not made with a fire in my belly
so i could be put out
i was not made with a lightness on my tongue
so i could be easy to swallow
i was made heavy half blade and half silk
difficult to forget and
not easy for the mind to follow

― Rupi Kaur..

A Woman.

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I was really inspired by Farah G who wrote a poem about woman empowerment that I decided to write a poem with similar taste or theme. I wrote this poem as a reminder to all women that we are equal and we deserve to be treated well.

Happy International Women’s Day

This is me reciting this beautiful poem written by Farah Gabdon.

(What I will tell my daughter)

Someday you will be told that a woman’s gaze
must never stretch as far as a man’s.
That his should
soar above the seventh heaven
-like shooting stars between planets-
to find himself on Saturn’s rings
but yours-
yours must never exceed the ceiling of your house
because you were made different.

Your place-
lies in the cleanliness of kitchen shelves
the dust between radiator and wall
the stains on both carpet and floor-
because you are a woman…
nothing more.

***
But this poem is called woman
Called mother and wife.
Called daughter.

It is wombs stretching-
filled with pain and love,
lungs pumping life into new body and soul-
ribs expanding,
housing, embracing, caring, creating.

This poem is called woman,

It is hearts breaking-
Aching for both infant and man.
it is tender, patient , loving,
forever, understanding,
never, relenting,
and always, always, always-
real.

This poem is all woman.
All you.

***
The night you are born
I will take you to see the moon-
Full and bright –
it’s reflection filling the tiny pupils of your eyes
And your father and I will
Argue about whether to call you
“Shamsa” after the sun
Or “Qamar” after the moon.

***

Your thirteenth birthday is when I will read you this
Before periods,
And heartbreak and boys.
You will be as tall as me,
Your breasts emerging, hips curving
And your lips stained pink
Because you are learning
That being beautiful-
Is more important to the world than being real,
And that everything you ever did would always be labelled
“Not bad for a girl”
And that in some places-
Having a daughter
Still brought shame on families.

***

But this poem is called woman,
Is all woman
All you.

This poem is a reminder of what it means
To descend from a line of women
With the strength
Found only in martyrs
who set themselves on fire to save their kin.

This poem is all heart.
It is to remind you
That you share blood with women
Who march with shrapnel in their thighs
But fall to their knees the moment
Their grandchild frowns,
The same women who carry in the
Wobble of their arthritic joints
More strength than humanly possible.

This poem is because you are one half of life,
One half of body and soul.
This poem is because
You are a moon
And you must never forget
That you possess in you
The strength to shine
When enveloped in darkness-
To smile when drowning in pain.

***

You see,
They might say
That a woman’s gaze should never stretch as far as a man’s.
No, yours must stretch further.
Because you are a woman,
Nothing less.

Scars

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No you don’t have to feel sorry for me. No one asks you to.
I have built a home inside me and the roots which grow within me
keep me strong and stand still
I love the scars on my skin. They show me how I survived..

Work of Art



You don’t need someone to validate your worth
you know you were crafted perfectly
shaped into an extraordinary person
who is standing before me now

You have traveled the rocky road
and passed through hundreds of roadblock
to get to where you are
now don’t let them tell you where to go

Some people don’t understand
the way you do some certain things
but you don’t need them to
just be unapologetically you

cos you know yourself
you know your worth

 

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Just a Dream 

i dreamt of you last night
you were you and i was i
not a word ever comes out of our mouths
but we managed to meet in each other’s dreams
tell me how, how could this thing work between us?