04.30

04.30:
at dawn it was
mom woke me up
laid down he was
stay still
no sign of breathing
i held his hand
no tears at all
closed my eyes
hoping he’d just
pass out for a moment

05.54:
never wanted to see
the doctor came up to me
he’s gone she said
the world within me
crumbled down
no strength to walk
let alone to see his face

06.20:
i didnt wanna go inside
too unbearable i thought
sat outside alone
ended up hurting myself
ask the hospital walls
of how i got these bruises
i just wanted to wake up
from this nightmare
i was dying
wishing it’d be a dream

07.10
there they came
best friends at all times
sisters i never knew i needed

07.30
no flashback
no regrets
lies i kept telling to myself
to ease the pain
feel the regret
filling up my chest
painful it was
no words came out
of my mouth
did he know how much
i love him
did he know how much
i care

13.40
it’s all real
i saw him in there
in a coffin.
i saw him lying there
looked so peaceful
i saw him there
in a suit
i wish he would wear
on my wedding day.

23.59:
there
still i hope
when i wake up
it all will be
a dream.

//
when a daughter lost her father.
It’s been a month already, Pa. I miss you like crazy

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