This might be tough for some people to share stories about something they have been struggling for so long. It has always been a tough thing to do when it comes to sharing our weakness. Some people may have also seen anxiety as something dreadful or normal. But what if the case is someone who has an anxiety disorder? It is a hell to live with a constant fear and anxiety.
I have always been this bubbly and positive girl who loves to laugh even though my laughter sounds like a dying seal. But these past few years, I have been dealing with something that is so physically and emotionally exhausting. I have been dealing with some problems that I often keep them all hidden. I am not a very open person in terms of sharing about my problems, that is actually one of the main causes why I have this severe anxiety, because I do not want to share, but frankly, it is more like that I have not found someone that I can trust enough to share my problems with. Because I am scared they will be scared and turn away right after I share my problems and anxiety.
I have dealt with several major case of anxiety. And I want to emphasise here is that my anxiety has nothing to do with the self-confidence or insecurity, it is merely an anxious feeling towards something. It does not happen all the time, of course. In my case, I feel extremely anxious when there are so many problems and burden on my shoulder or so many thoughts haunting me.
One thing that also worsen my anxiety is that I often act as if I am strong enough to deal with this and I also often suppress my feelings and not letting out my emotions. Just like what happened before I wrote this post. I know what’s bothering me a lot, family stuff, exams, organisation stuff, a horrific event which just happened today, my friendship. I acknowledge them all, but I could not find something that is the root of the causes. I broke down and cried. And sometimes, that is the best thing to do when dealing with this. Because frankly, I feel so relieved right after I let all my emotions out. Some people keep saying to control your emotions, and that does not necessarily mean that you are not allowed to cry, because who knows maybe crying is one of your coping mechanisms.
How to deal with it?
Simple, let it out, all your emotions, let it out.